Valentine's Day

So by popular demand (and by that I mean two people requested it), I’m writing a rant about Valentine’s Day. It’s not going to be what you want to hear though.

So, you’ve heard in every bad chick flick how Valentine’s Day is just an excuse for smug couples to show off. You’ve heard about how Valentine’s Day is just an opportunity for chocolate and flower companies to make more money. Blah, blah, blah, we hate Valentine’s Day.

In my opinion, Valentine’s Day has become a whole other holiday. It’s an opportunity for single people to feel sorry for themselves and it’s the one time a year when it’s socially acceptable to be a cynical pain in the ass.

Every year from about mid-January the posts start, “OMG it’s Valentine’s Day soon, kill me!” “Valentine’s Day is stupid”, “Greeting card companies invented Valentine’s Day,” it goes on and on.

We get it, you’re single and you’re unhappy about it. Get over it. 

Do you see Jewish people posting “OMG Christmas is just an excuse for stores to charge more and for spoiled kids to get more stuff,”? Just because all of that is probably true doesn’t mean that Christmas isn’t an awesome holiday. 

Imagine if poor people made you feel really guilty on Christmas because you can afford to get awesome presents and they can’t. It would take a beautiful holiday and turn it into something shitty wouldn’t it? Plus, it would take something positive like fucking CHRISTMAS and turn it into something negative. It’s not cool.

People in happy relationships are always annoying. They get so much hate from EVERYONE. This is the one time a year when you’re allowed to be nauseatingly, adorably in love. Just because they’re happy and want to show it off doesn’t mean they’re assholes. The fact that you resent their happiness makes you an asshole.

And ok, you can’t help it; jealousy is a part of human nature. When someone has something you can’t get, the only way to not become an alcoholic depressive is to tell yourself that you’re better than them. That’s OK. However, when people start publicly denouncing something just because they aren’t fortunate enough to experience it, it really annoys me. Being happy isn’t a crime, and seeing happiness shouldn’t piss you off. 

Think of it this way: how many of you get super irritated at Christians who are always bitching about Halloween? You wish they’d just keep their opinions to themselves right? You wish they wouldn’t dump all of that negativity diarrhoea on your holiday right? So what the fuck gives you the right to do that to Valentine’s Day? 

So a lot of you are probably thinking, “Well, it’s easy for her to say, she’s probably one of those couples, meh meh meh.” Let me just clear something up right now.

I’ve never had a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day. In my entire life I’ve gotten a total of 1 roses on Valentine’s Day, and that was from a friend. I’m recently single. I’m about as far from a happy couple as you can get. 

So for all of you single people: get over it. Just because you’re single doesn’t give you an excuse to be a whiny piece of shit. To all those couples out there, don’t let your single friends piss on your happiness with their own insecurities.

Let’s love each other this Valentine’s Day, ok? When Valentine’s Day comes around I’m going to smile and feel happy that there’s one day of the year when the people in this stupid world remember to love each other – even if it’s just because a calendar tells them to.